Hints from Heather: Emotionally Detox Through the Journey of Forgiveness

Confession time. I'm a control freak. To the point where I try to control my control. And then my control is out of control! There's a saying that says "what you resist persists." So I've got to stop controlling my control, right? Add it to the list! Am I alone here? Come on my friends, join me!

Many of us learn the fine art of control very early on. It truly can be a survival mechanism that we may have needed to manage a challenging road as we journeyed into adulthood. But, like all good things, it's time for it to come to an end. It's time to let go! In fact, there's something very liberating about airing out your dirty, stinky laundry, almost like a cleansing squirt of febreeze for the soul! Let's call it an "emotional detox."

All ancient wisdom teachings urge their followers to "let go." C.S. Lewis, the famous Christian author encapsulates the necessity of letting go when he says, "Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” And good old Cat Stevens, an Islamic convert and my favorite 1970s musical guru, says it best in his song Moonshadow." And if I ever lose my legs/I won't moan/and I won't beg/Yes if I ever lose my legs...I won't have to walk no more.” Ancient Jewish wisdom urges parents to understand the tremendous blessings of the proverbial "skinned knee."

Let go of the back of the bicycle seat, parents, and let them fall! Speaking of parenting, I was recently talking with a fellow Type-A mama bear who is also desperately trying to walk the path of letting go. We laughed at the oxymoronic juxtapositions in our personalities and desires. I shared with my friend this quote by Florida Scotts Maxwell, "No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle aged children for signs of improvement." I vow, right here in front of you all, in black and white, to learn to let go before my precious controlled kids are middle aged.

Sounds good. So, what's my plan? Well, it's a bit wizzy-wig, but in my own journey to loosen my grip and let go of my control freak ways, life has thrown the ultimate in my face. Challenged me to my core. Revealed the "holy grail" of emotional baths. It's taught me that the best way to walk path of least resistance is to daily practice the fine and sometimes painful art of forgiveness, my friends . And I'd like to challenge you to try on this notion of forgiveness and perhaps consider an emotional detox for 2017.

Ready? OK, here we go!

There's a powerful notion called "the collective consciousness." This occurs when more than one person engages in a transformational practice. The results are contagious and exponential. So jump on the peace train and help me up my ante as I journey to gift myself with release that comes with forgiveness. Collectively, lets exercise our courage, reach for our soul's harmony, knowing that as we engage in the following steps, we are

1. Choose a person or an event in your life that you are ready to let go of, ready to release, ready to forgive.

2. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what happened. It's not forgetting. You have full permission to protect yourself and protect others. So say this: "I can forgive and I can release fill in the blank without condoning what happened in by never allowing it to happen again.

3. Make peace with the fact that unlike most habit changing tools I teach, forgiveness practice does not have to be quick, and sometimes it takes more than 21 days! Right now say this "I give myself permission to forgive in my heart and to let my heart take as long as it needs to make peace with the grief and all the toxic emotions that no longer serve me."